Warning: The first paragraph contains some emotional and hormonal ranting on babies and nursing.  Feel free to skip to the next paragraph!

I haven’t posted in a few days because I’ve been back in my why-can’t-my-running-be-back-to-normal funk.  I am also about 2 weeks behind in my daily Bible reading (which is the most I’ve ever been since I started doing this) so I guess I feel a little guilty about spending any time blogging.  Up until recently, I usually read the days assigned reading from my YouVersion app on my phone while I nursed Ashton at night.  He is no longer nursing at night (in process of weaning completely) so I guess I need to find a new Bible reading routine that works.  Weaning him is a whole other issue in itself.  I know he’s ready- almost 17 mos. old now.  I know it’s the right time.   To be honest I’m the one having a hard time with it.  He’s my last baby and I know that once he is weaned the “baby” phase of my life will be over.  No more pregnancies or babies.  Sigh.  This is a big deal to me.  While being pregnant was not always “easy” for me (lots of morning sickness- especially with my girls) I loved it.  I loved the miraculous feeling of it all.  I loved feeling the kicks and movement.  Nursing has been special to me too.  Way more than I ever thought it would be.  It definitely had its fair share of challenges (especially the first two weeks with each new baby) but SO worth it.  I know I will never regret this time I spent with each of them.  I just realized that between all my babies I’ve spent over 3 years being pregnant and over 5 years nursing.  Yes, that’s 8 years and a chunk of my life.  Don’t get me wrong, I am ready to move on to the next phase.  John and I both are.  I guess it’s just hard closing the door to one part of your life, even when you know it’s time.

Normally I would run to think and work through something like this but running is another issue right now.  Physical Therapy went well Tuesday.  My PT saw a huge improvement in my knee.  The bursitis is much better but it will just take some time for the tendonitis to clear up.  He said I could race the 5K this weekend but then he suggested that for the next few weeks I run one day a week and add in a lot of swimming and biking. While my first instinct was to fight him on this I know deep down that it is what I need to do.  I’ve been “fighting” it too long.  The two weeks I took off a few weeks ago did help my knee but it needed more time.  Two weeks was just a number that I came up with and I hoped that would be long enough.  It wasn’t.

Why am I racing tomorrow?  Good question.  First, it is a local race and I have a hard time not racing something that is right here.  I am not experiencing any sharp shooting pain when I run or anything like that.  It is a dull annoying ache that comes on usually in runs longer than 5 miles.  This race is only a 5K.  My knee has not bothered me in any of the 5K’s I’ve done recently.  It has bothered me in all my longer runs.  This is why I need to get this tendonitis cleared up.  Longer runs are essential in marathon training and I don’t want to be dealing with this then.  Bottom line- I know I have a warped sense of judgment when it comes to running and racing.

5K Race Goals for tomorrow:
I have had several workouts this week but only 2 sessions were running ones.  I’ve actually been swimming and jogging in the water more than on the road.  So once again, not the best 5K training.  That pretty much sums up all of my spring/ summer 5K training.  Hopefully next year will be better!

Of course, I still want to break 19 minutes but I’m not sure how realistic that is based on my recent training.  I would like to race faster than my 5K two weeks ago, which means breaking 19:15.  My first mile 2 weeks ago was a 5:58 which was a bit faster than overall race pace but I tend to do better positive splitting 5 K’s right now so I may try to run sub 6 again for the first mile.  It’s hard setting realistic goals pace-wise because my training had been so sporadic and random.  I’ve kept up my cardio but it’s just been in other forms which is a huge wild card in my mind.

Tomorrow will be interesting to say the least.  After tomorrow’s 5K I will be switching gears from racing to recovery.  I promise!!